Part
5 and dedicated to VANIA TRIXIE!!!!
Suddenly, i open my eyes. But im
scared to face this day. I have to make a list of people’s pleasure to me,
until i raise my chin. Danielle and eleanor still in their sleep. How could
they sleep in such this wow style? I bathe and clothe. Searching for taxi
outside the hotel and heading chateau marmoset. Im makin my words, on the way
to hotel, to niall. Im not allowed myself to wondering about his feeling.
You
hurt him rachel. You hurt niall. You hurt harry. You are sucks. None of them
will deserve you.
Finally i arrive, i know
where niall shoud be, the restaurant, to take breakfast. And, oh look, he’s
with harry. Laughing.
“hey niall, hey harry,” i greet as i
manage a smile. “may i take to you, alone, honey?”
“oh hey. Okay. But let me finish
this okay?” then he asks me to take a seat beside him, and kiss my forehead. I sit
there silent, theyre talking. I dont dare to look at harry’s eyes even for listening their conversation. “well,
come on babe, minutes harry”
I take his hands and go outside the
restaurant, to the swimming pool. I’d rather talk to the point now.
“im sorry, niall”
“tell me why im scared to hear you
sayin the next sentece?” i avoid his eyes, and look straight to the pool. “rachel......”
“im sorry, im the one who wrong
here, not you , not harry. I dont deserve your love, but im sorry.” And i burst
into tears. “im sorry for sayin i love you when im not. Im sorry to waste your
time. Im sorry that you wanted to marry a whore. Im sorry because of me you
almost hate your friend. Im sorry i already hurt you. Im sorry..........”
I dont have time to finish the
sentece because he kiss me. I pull myself free.
“i dont deserve this niall,” i free
my ring from my finger and give it to his hand, “i dont deserve this too,
theres your fan outthere, lovin you more than i love you, and she deserves
this. Im sorry” then i walk away. I run. Really, i run. Across the pool. Across
the bungaloo, across the restaurant. I know niall runs for me too, so i run
faster. I know, im not invite to any kind of glamorous right now, crying,
running across the hotel.
“Rachel!” i hear harry’s shout, “Niall!
What did you do to her?!” and harry started running too.
I dont now where to go now. I dont
know LA like its my city. LA is not a city where i belong. So...... i just run
run run, and now here i am. In the beach where my dream belonged. Where i
belong. Oh no, where i used to belonged.
Well, i dont deserve this pleasure
in this beach too, so i get back to the street. I think none of any niall and
harry still run for me.
Hello,
im Rachel Bennet. No more Horan or Styles again for my last name. I already
throw them away. I already hurt them. No one needs me. Because i hurt them. Im sorry
I catch a glimpse of zayn. Im running
to him right now. Hug him and burst into tears once more.
“i never seen niall’s crying before.
Especially for girls. He is really really love you. He still wont let you go.”
“how come i became so stupid. I
shouldnt love any of them, they shouldnt love me.” I say, with tears.
“you need to talk to harry.”
“i cant”
“you need to talk to him.”
“so what should i be? A 16 years old
girl from my contry. Harry’s girlfriend or niall’s fiancee?”
“listen to your heart, and do what
your brain says” he says with a smile. Well, my heart says i should be with
harry, and my brain says i need to be with harry.
“what if they say the same?” i
whisper
“get back to sleep. And do what your
dream says.”
“zayn............” i cant stop
myself but smiling, “where is him? You know, harry”
“i dont know but he said he should
be in somewhere he created Moments..”
before he finish his sentece, i go back to the beach. Zayn is right. He is
there, sitting up in edge. I shout:
“harold! Would you carry me?”
He looks at me, and smile.
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